No Good In Goodbyes
by psycochick32
Summary: Trini must deal with the change in her relationship with Jason while he's overseas.  "Absence from whom we love is worse than death, and frustrates hope severer than despair." -William Cowper
1. No Good In Goodbyes

No Good In Goodbyes

"You're just going to go?"

His dedication to the cause – to saving their world – was something she normally admired. But right now… why now?

"I have to, Trini. You know that. I can't just say no."

"Sure you can!"

She knew she was being unreasonable. But… didn't he understand? They were both friends with Kim and Tommy, and look at how they turned out! And that was with only a continent between them; this particular move would add an ocean to the distance.

Trini sighed and stared at her red-clad boyfriend. Usually when she stared, her focus was on his muscular arms or chest. Right now, though, she couldn't take her eyes off his shirt.

His _red_ shirt.

Red, the color of leadership (well, until Tommy took over). Would Jason still be the same person, if he came back from this? Tommy had been such a loner, a brooder in green. His transition to white had brought on such a change in attitude – as a leader, Tommy had been forced to reach out to the group, to become a closer friend.

Would Jason still be Jason after being a follower?

She knew she was being unreasonable. But why didn't he understand?

"Trini, even if I didn't have to do this… I _want_ to." She hadn't realized how close he'd gotten until he wrapped his arms around her. "You know how much I loved being a Ranger. This is a chance for me to make a difference again."

"You're making a difference here," she muttered petulantly, hugging him nonetheless. "You may not be punching and kicking, but you're still dealing with world-changing issues."

"I know," he agreed. "But… I need action. I need to see the difference." He looked down at her, trying to force a note of levity in his voice. "What's that you always told me and Zack? We're guys, and so we need immediate validation?"

She tried to bite back a small smile and failed. It figured those words – ironically used to soothe them as they got used to the power transfer – would come to bite her in the butt more than a year later.

A year. They'd been together just under a year – her first real, true, deep and physical relationship – and now he was just _leaving_…

"We'd only be here another couple of months anyway, Trini. We've both been accepted into college and they're near each other. This isn't a forever thing; it's just to help the group."

Trini sighed and pulled away to sit on the edge of her bed. She needed to talk to Kim; was it supposed to be this hard to let go?

Kim… just thinking about her best friend made her want to cry. Kim had given up Tommy, believing he'd be happier with a girlfriend closer to home.

What if Jason wanted the same?

"Hey." Jason kneeled, putting himself at eye level. He kissed her lightly. "I don't want to leave with you mad at me."

She didn't want him to leave at all!

"Guys?" A knock at the door signaled Zack's arrival. "Jase, your taxi's here."

Jason let out a deep breath, tearing his eyes away from Trini's to look over his shoulder. "Thanks, buddy. I'll be down in a sec."

"'kay."

When he looked back, Trini was studying her fingernails.

"Trini?"

She forced a smile. She didn't want him to leave thinking she was mad at him – even if, somewhere inside, she really, really was. It was hard, though… she was used to being the level-headed one.

Damn her emotions, anyway.

"It'll be fine. You're right; we'll see each other in college, right?"

Jason nodded enthusiastically, heartened. "Yeah! And Zack will be here, and you have so many friends in the group, and talks are just ramping up again. You won't even have time to miss me."

"I will, anyway."

He smiled sadly. "And I'll miss you. But I'll be making Angel Grove a safer place for you to come back to, right?"

Trini nodded and stood, pulling him down for a kiss that Zack interrupted with a more pounding on the door. Jason's cabbie was being impatient.

"Call me?"

"Constantly," he promised. With one more deep, lingering kiss – too short, in her mind – he snagged his bag. "I'll talk to you soon, okay?"

She nodded, refusing to break down until he'd left.

It wasn't like he was leaving _her_… even if he was. He was just leaving the country. The Conference.

Her.

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Power Rangers, nor the characters. That delightful honor belongs solely to Saban now!


	2. No News Is Bad News

No News Is Bad News

Trini stared at the phone, willing it to ring. _Begging_ it to ring, really; just one call was all she asked for.

She knew it wouldn't – if it did, it wouldn't be the person she most desperately needed to hear from.

Not that Kim's soothing murmurs weren't appreciated, but _his_ voice – assuring her that everything was okay and that he'd just had a "dumb guy" moment – would take the weight of the world off her shoulders.

Nearly a decade of friendship meant Jason and Trini were both so knowledgeable about the other that it was hard to hide things face-to-face. They trusted each other implicitly; with their lives, their feelings, the truth…

They'd fought.

It was so much easier to do over the phone.

It was easier to suspect, to miss the subtle nuances taken for granted when one spoke with somebody in person every day. His facial expressions, soft touches and even simple eye contact had meant so much to Trini and she didn't even realize it until she was without it.

"_I think we should see other people."_

It was like something out of a cheesy high school romance novel – the heart-wrenching break-up part, that is. It had been so unexpected – despite steeling herself against the possibility – that Trini had actually stared at the phone in shock.

As though it could somehow convey her absolute disbelief that he could believe she would be happy with anybody else.

"_It's not forever! You'll be coming home in what, under a year? We're both going to UCLA so it's not like we won't see each other. Did you hear Kim got accepted, too? Tommy's going to freak when he sees that she's back but she's told me how much she misses him and I think Kat's going to go to London, so-"_

_He was babbling. Jason only did it when he was nervous._

It was so like Jason to shoot Trini's normally stern control over her emotions straight to hell. Nobody riled her up like he could; nobody pushed her buttons. And nobody could console her like he could… only this time, nothing he could say would make this any easier.

Kim was right. Guys could be so stupid.

"_I don't want to hold you back… I don't want this distance to destroy what we have."_

So, he would destroy it himself.

Oh sure, when she got back, he was sure to try and rebuild it – if he wasn't still with his new flame. He'd flash that smile that turned her knees to butter, sign up for some of the same classes, walk her around at night and feel like he was protecting her.

But she'd be wary. She'd protect herself; she never wanted to feel like this again.

Kim had tried to be so supportive; at what she feared would be a great risk to their friendship, she'd even played devil's advocate for Jason, having been in his shoes. She saw in Trini's and Jason's relationship the same growth – and fallout – that had characterized her relationship with Tommy. Trini knew her anxious calls were eating into Kim's practice time, much as Kim's tearful ramblings had interrupted Trini's conference sessions.

"_Her name is Emily; she fell in with a bad crowd, but I think you'd really like her once you got to know her."_

Trini honestly hoped that time never came. She was the zen one, the calm one, the reliable woman who was firmly in control of her mind, body and emotions. She was the one who liked anybody.

She didn't want to like Emily.

Was this what Tommy felt like when he got Kim's letter? Was it worse for him, having been with Kim longer? Trini felt the sudden urge to call the white-turned-red ranger, to give him a hug and ask him how to handle this.

But Tommy was Jason's best friend, and Tommy had probably known all along.

Trini felt the sudden urge to kick Tommy in the teeth.

"_I'm so glad you understand, Trini. God, I miss you so much; I'm counting down the weeks until you come home. I can't wait to see you again."_

Trini stared at the silent phone, willing it to ring.

When it didn't, she wrapped her arms around her legs, pulling her knees up to her chest.

Kim had been right, back when she'd written that letter.

Sometimes love just wasn't enough.

**Disclaimer:**

Anything from Power Rangers (and their affiliates) belongs to Saban and Disney. I don't have permission to use and abuse them as I plan on doing. I don't get any money for this, either.


End file.
